[fanfic] World Without End, Amen - Chapter 12 (and final)

[tiptoe39]

Title: World Without End, Amen
Chapter: Twelve
Author: tiptoe39
Fandom/Pairing: Supernatural, some understated Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG
Summary: As it was in the beginning, so it is and ever shall be.
Spoilers: Up through 5x10.
Previous Chapters: here.
Author's Note: I will be posting a small coda to this fic tomorrow, although the fic technically ends here. Thanks for sticking with it, all!


World Without End, Amen - Chapter 12

Castiel had joined the fray. The hunters' army was waging war against a thousand plagues, every manner of beast and monster and natural phenomenon that had been drawn here by its master's presence, and he found himself singularly unable to leave the humans to fight on their own.

When had that tide turned in his mind? When had he learned to care, not just for Dean but for the mother and child, the old friends who fought side by side, the pining lover who longed to see his darling again once this was all over? It hadn't been a single, definable moment. He'd learned it, bit by bit and day by day, from Dean and Sam and all the rest who slaved and gave for people they'd never meet again. He wondered if becoming more human would take him further still from God. If so, it was worth it.

But even as he murmured spells that turned aside lightning and swung an iron rod at a swarm of tigerlike beasts with red eyes, his attention was still on the house behind him. He could feel the vibrations and thumps, hear the sounds of combat, in the recesses of his perception. And when the air burst with electricity and he could feel the brush of wings against his face, he looked up with some despair. "Michael," he uttered, and his heart sank.

He turned back toward the house, banishing a hundred terrors with one flash of power from his palm, and began to run toward the front gate. Something horrified was crawling in him. What if? it said. What if that was the last chance you ever had to speak to Dean? What if you never see him again?

He came to the front steps just as light erupted from the upstairs windows. He faltered, losing his step and stumbling, catching himself against the rail. "Dean," he said. "Dean, no."

The whisper that had been tugging at his insides overwhelmed him now, loud and incoherent. He thought his eardrums might explode from the force of it. His hands went to his head, clutching at it, trying to keep himself steady in the midst of the endless thunder that sounded inside his skull. It was everywhere now, and he couldn't understand a word of it. In the thicket of sound and pain and confusion, he didn't see the figures descending the stairway just inside.

He looked up at the sharp rap of the screen door. Dean was leading Sam by the hand. They were both bloodied. Their faces were sober. A faint white glow was emanating from their bodies, centering on their intertwined fingers. Castiel focused on it. It was a struggle to keep his eyes open in the torrent of whispers. His heart was rocking back and forth furiously in his chest.

The light was too strong. Dean's face was too grave. Despair rolled through him. "Michael," he said, lowering his eyes, crushed.

"Guess again."

A hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up into a grinning face.

"Miss me, Huggy Bear?" Dean said.

Without so much as an itch or a prickle of warning, tears began to fall from Castiel's eyes.  Looking at Dean, seeing the familiar smile and the holy light, he knew so much. He knew joy, and he knew gratitude, and the trembling of revelation. He knew what it was to have faith confirmed and nobility of purpose vindicated. And he knew that he wept not just from gladness or from relief, but from love. These were tears of love.

God is love.

The whispering words, clear for the first time, eclipsed all other sound. The amulet he'd kept around his neck for weeks burned white-hot with power. Light, clear and brilliant, poured out of him, and Castiel felt himself drifting, separated from himself and the world he'd been living in, ascending to a different plane. His Father was holding his hand.

**

You're here. You're alive.

You kept me alive. You woke me. Dearest son, I thank you.

I doubted you. I was sure--

You put your faith in humankind. You understood why I loved them. Your love for them was what sustained me.

Father, what of Lucifer?

He is my beloved son. He will be forgiven.

Forgiven? After all that he's done?

Do you doubt me now, Castiel?

No, no, of course not--

You should. Always question me, dear son, and you will always have my respect. But Lucifer has served his sentence. His destiny was fulfilled. He entered the body of Sam Winchester and he felt remorse. Now he will be welcomed back into the arms of Heaven.

And Michael?

Michael returns to my side. As will you, Castiel.

Father... may I ask one thing?

Speak, my son.

Sam and Dean. Let them see you. Let them see... let us see our father...

Very well, Castiel. Very well.

**

They were in Kansas, on the farm. But the house that rose above them was the one they remembered from a long time ago. The skies were clear. There was no army, no plagues, no monsters or demons. Just Sam, and Dean, and Castiel, and the quiet light of dawn.

Dean dropped Sam's hand and blinked, then rubbed his eyes as though it all might change if he did. "What the..."

"Look," Sam said, taking a step forward. "Look at Cas."

The angel stood straight, expectant, his eyes on the horizon. "Our father is here," he said softly.

"Wait." All business and realism as ever, Dean frowned. He crossed in front of Castiel, shadowing his face, trying to pull his focus off the faraway and into the here and now. "What do you mean, he's here? By our father, you mean..."

Castiel just nodded toward the horizon. Dean followed his eyes.

The figure that strode toward them had an easy, loping, confident gait. A familiar one. As he approached, Dean's jaw dropped. Beside him, Sam started to tremble, and his hands flew to his mouth. Tears prickled in his eyes.

"Dad."

The weathered, worn, warm face of John Winchester looked them over. "Boys."

Dean flew forward first. Sam was just after, giving a shout. John spread his arms wide to receive his sons. Bodies and tears and words all jumbled together, and there was a moment of pure, crystalline joy on that field beneath the dreamland sky.

It was Sam who first turned back. "Wait," he said, eyeing Castiel. "You said our father. Does that mean..."

Castiel nodded. John smiled and grazed a callused hand past Sam's cheek. "You're my child," he said.

"Wait." Dean stumbled backward. "Are you telling me I just bear-hugged the Man? As in, as in God?"

The chuckle, full of years' worth of fatherhood and fire, was all John's. "I'm both," he said. "I'm your father, and I'm something more."

"So Lucifer was right," Sam said, awed. "God really was inside you the whole time."

"I am inside all my creations, always," John said. "But Castiel kept me safe as the world turned darker. He learned to love humans, to believe in them as I do. That light sustained me, and it woke me to the moment of Revelation."

Sam nodded, but Dean had backed off further and was eyeing him warily. A storm was brewing on his face, and Sam sensed it first, then turned back to see it. His heart stuttered, and he began to speak, to attempt in vain to stop him. But by that time Dean had exploded. "Our dad was in hell," he said. "He gave his life, his soul for me. How do I know this isn't some demon trap?"

"Dean." Castiel, who had stood by quietly as the family reunited, now grabbed him by the arm, his tone and his expression warning.

Dean shook him off. "I'm serious. How can he be our dad? Our dad's in hell."

"Not any longer," John said. Dean snapped around to stare at him, his face challenging.

John's smile was serene, unruffled by Dean's outburst. "Have you forgotten the rest of the story of the Revelation? The dead rise up to life eternal, and there is forgiveness for the sinners."

"What?"

John scratched his head, a rueful smile on his face. "How should I put this so you'll understand it? Revelation is not a one-time thing. The Lord appears on earth, heralded by His angels and omens, and hell is flushed out. Like a clogged toilet." He laughed. "Not the prettiest metaphor, but it will have to do."

"So the world isn't supposed to end, after all." Sam punched his fist. His eyes were alight. "Just like Bobby thought."

"Bobby." The name plucked a string within Dean, and he vibrated, wound up and disturbed. His eyes were dark, and his fists were clenched again. "Bring him back. If you're God, you can do that much. We saved your precious world. Come on."

"Dean." John stepped forward, cradled Dean's face in his hands. The smile on his face was so warm and pitying, Dean was unable to do anything but tremble. "Bobby is in a better place now."

"That's what people say when they don't know the truth." Dean's voice was shaking. "You're not God. You're just some patronizing demon. Cas, why aren't you doing anything?" He tried to jerk his head around, but when his eyes caught Castiel's, the angel only regarded him sadly and then shook his head.

"He's so happy," John said softly. "So happy and so honored that you want to bring him back. But it was his time. He knew that before you two did, long before. He made his decisions, and he doesn't regret them."

John's implacability, his intense serenity in the face of the storm of emotions, was finally enough to break Dean down. "It was him," he said. His jaw was shaking, and he was just barely holding back tears. "It was him who stopped the world from ending. It's not fair."

A soft cluck of the tongue, and John let Dean go. "Dean," he said quietly. "Parents always sacrifice for their children."

Sam stepped forward and put a hand on Dean's shoulder. His eyes were wet, too. "It's all right, Dean," he said. "We're going to make sure everyone knows just what he did. No one will ever forget his name."

The vehemence, the purpose in his voice broke Dean down, and his own tears spilled down his cheeks, shamelessly. He fell into Sam's arms, exhausted, the cord of his nerves finally frayed beyond recognition. What he'd been through in the past hours. Days. Weeks. Years. It all caught up with him, and he cried, like a child, trusting in his dearest friend and brother to see him through. Sam's tears came, too, and they leaned on each other, crying together.

Castiel shared a glance with John. The white glow of belief and hope had returned, and it was emanating now from the embrace they were witnessing. Dean and Sam were shining bright as any beacon.

Dean found his feet and his voice faster. He stepped out of Sam's embrace, wiped his face on his sleeve, and peered through puffy eyes at John. "So what now?" he said. "Are you just going to disappear again? After showing up, shutting down Hell-- you'll just leave?"

"Oh, Hell's not shut down," John replied. "People will still sin. Hell will still forge new demons. I'm afraid you don't get to retire as early as you might have thought."

"But you're going to leave."

"I was never gone. I will always be in each and every one of you. But yes, we must depart from this plane."

"Wait. We?"

"Lucifer, and Castiel, and Michael and I. Heaven awaits our return."

Dean wheeled. The minute Castiel's name had been spoken, his universe had frozen down to a single point of cold truth. He stared at Cas as though he could burn him into place with the force of his gaze. Cas was leaving. He'd return to Heaven. Dean would never see him again.

He was still staring, eyes itching again but unyielding, when John spoke. "Go on then, Castiel," he said quietly. "Say your goodbyes."

Ever faithful, ever obedient, Castiel nodded. He crossed to Sam and nodded at him. Sam wrapped him up in a brief embrace. "Thank you," he whispered. "For everything." Castiel gave another firm nod, this one against his shoulder, and his eyes closed as the embrace lingered another moment, then faded out with a clap on the back and the meeting of two pairs of shimmering eyes. And Castiel turned to Dean.

Dean's bravado was his saving grace. He forced himself out of frozen shock, but his gaze lingered in the dirt beneath them. "I, uh... I guess I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow," he said with a snicker.

Castiel tilted his head. "I'm sorry?"

The snicker widened to a full-on smile. "Jeez, Cas, you never change."

"You once told me not to."

Dean shook his head. "Guess I did, at that." He dared to look up at Castiel's face, and immediately had to bite his lip to keep the sob inside his chest from escaping. His nails dug into his palm as he tried to find breath to speak. "Th-thank you, Cas. Really. For... for so much."

Castiel reached forward and folded Dean into a hug. "You're welcome." The soft growl of his whisper melted into Dean's close-cropped hair.

"I'll never forget you." Dean's shoulders were shaking.

"And I'll always--"

"No, don't." Dean pulled back. His whole face was wet with a fresh round of tears, deepening the red tracks of the old ones. "You won't. But that's... that's OK." He hiccuped, and a sob tore through him. Castiel's hands clamped down on his shoulders, and Dean grabbed one wrist and hung on tight, trying to gain control of himself. "Jesus. I didn't think this would be this hard."

"No," Castiel said quietly, "nor did I." He leaned in, pushed his cheek against Dean's, and held there for a long moment, his eyes fluttering closed. Neither spoke. The dream world around them stood still.

And then, all at once, Cas ripped away from him and wheeled around to face John. "No," he said.

To John, who was God, who was his Father, whom he'd searched for, for whom he'd been exiled from heaven, he said, "No.

"No, I don't want to leave."

There was an instant of silence. Castiel looked as surprised as anyone to hear his own refusal.

Dean found his tongue first. "Wait, did you just say 'no'?"

Castiel turned to him. "Yes."

"Is that yes, no? Or no, yes? Or..."

"I want to stay with you," he said, and he grabbed Dean's hand.

"Wait a minute." Sam took an awkward step forward. "What is going on here?" His face was all screwed up in confusion. John just looked like he was holding back laughter.

Castiel's cheeks were flaming red. "I don't want to forget about you," he said to Dean earnestly. "You may think I haven't changed, but I have. A great deal. And it was you who changed me, Dean. I... I find I like the person I am now."

"But you're not a person," Dean said. His face was still blotchy with the aftermath of tears, but his brow was furrowed.  "You're an angel. And you have harps and wings and pearly gates and things waiting for you. Why in the hell would you want to spend another moment on this planet with all these ugly things?"

"Because I love you," Castiel said.

Simply, plainly. Not a dramatic confession, not a rebellious yell or an intimate whisper. Just the truth, spoken in that plain, low, gravelly voice that was Castiel's.

Still, Dean's jaw dropped.

In the background, John snickered. Sam gave an exclamation that sounded more or less like "Whozawhunow?" Dean stood there, gaping, for another few seconds before his brows knotted together and he looked more or less like he had just sucked on a really, really sour lemon.

"You what?" he said before realizing that was a stupid thing to ask. Because Castiel repeated himself. Still sounding stone-cold sober and in complete command of his faculties. Dean smacked his palm to his forehead. "OK, I got that part. But how? What? Why?"

Castiel gazed at him reproachfully. "You said we'd talk about that later. We'd sit down and talk about it."

"Well, well, maybe we need to talk about it now!" Dean burst out. "Because this is pretty weird, to be confessing this in the middle of this time warp or whatever it is, in front of God-- worse, in front of Sam-- and I don't really know what to say, because it's not like I haven't thought about it, but, I mean, there's so much to figure out and..." Then Castiel's eyes flashed, and Dean knew to shut the hell up.

"Dean, I've been an angel for thousands of years," Castiel said. "I'm not accustomed to talking about my feelings. I don't know the etiquette. I definitely don't know the details. I just know that I love you, and I don't want to leave you."

He spread his palms out and gazed at them. "For centuries I wondered why I existed. Now I know. I've played my part in this drama, and now that it's over, I just want out. I want to help you rebuild this world that I nearly helped destroy. I want the chance to rest in peace." He looked up at Dean. "And until that day comes, I want to spend every moment I can with you."

Dean had an unsteady hand on his mouth. "With me?" he whispered. "Doing what? I mean... I don't-- I don't know how--" His words faltered.

"I thought," Castiel said timidly, clearing his throat, "I thought I could help you hunt. If that's all right with your brother." He turned his eyes to Sam, half wary and half pleading.

"Castiel."

John's voice. Rich, majestic, with the tone behind it that was just a bit too resonant, a bit too piercing. A reminder that he was John Winchester, but he was something more as well.

"Are you sure this is what you want? You'll be cut off from heaven. You'll age as a human will, and you'll die. You'll lose all of your powers. Your body will be that of a mortal man."

John went on. "You will retain your memories and your knowledge of heaven. I think you'll have it in you to be as powerful a magic worker as ever walked the earth, but that's all you will be, a worker of spells. If a werewolf sinks his teeth into you, or if a car hits you, you will die. I will not be protecting you from the ravages of space and time."

The angel bowed his head. "I know, Father."

"And this is still your wish."

A fervent whisper. "Yes."

John came forward and clasped him close, then kissed the top of his head. A milky glow enveloped Castiel. "You will always be my child," John whispered, and he stood back.

He beckoned to Dean and Sam then, and they shared one last, precious embrace that was over far too soon. John's arms widened, and around them the sky and land seemed to flicker. Behind them they could hear faraway shouts, and the farmhouse they'd grown up in began to fade, the new building slowly coming into view.

Sam and Dean looked up, watching reality change around them. Their gaze returned to their father, but he was already half-gone. A thousand million sparkles of light hovered where he had stood, and as he disappeared, they scattered, flying toward the horizon in every direction. And when they had all gone, the world had returned.

**

Castiel had stopped glowing. He was looking down at himself in some surprise. Nothing had changed about his appearance, but his posture relaxed, as though the cord of tension that had held him upright had been let loose. "I'm human," he said quietly. "I... I'm in this body. It's my body." His eyes were round. "I can feel. My feet hurt. I'm..."

He straightened up and looked at Dean. "Are you angry with me?" he asked. "I... If you are, I couldn't blame you." He gave a shaky laugh. "Embarrassment is much stronger now that I'm human."

Dean looked at him shyly. "Course I'm not angry," he muttered. "To tell you the truth, I'm... I'm kind of flattered." His cheeks were no longer red just from his earlier tears. He shuffled up to Castiel, and their eyes locked in a moment of silent communication. Finally, Dean shrugged. "Welcome to Earth, spaceman," he said with a quirky smile.

Castiel squinted, but he decided not to ask. "Thank you," he said. "It... It's nice to be here." He gazed up through thick lashes at Dean's face.

Sam burst into a peal of laughter. "OK, now I'm kind of rooting for you guys to make a love connection," he said. "That's just the funniest thing I have ever seen."

"Shut up." Dean shot a nasty look at him. Sam just answered with a smile.

The noise coming from behind them had resolved into shouts of victory. Dean turned. The army of hunters was coming toward the gates. Running, yelling, voices mixed in a tumble of joy and excitement. The clouds above them had scattered, and the sky was clear.

Dean reached over and took Castiel's hand. With his other hand, he took Sam's.

"We've got plenty to talk about," he said firmly. "But right now, we've got work to do."

Together, they stepped forward through the gate and into the street.

As it was in the beginning, so it is and ever shall be,

World without end,

Amen.

Comments

[speccygeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

This made me cry! Oh, Tippy, I love this story so much. ♥

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Awww! You see now why I just had to write it? It grabbed me by the gut and wouldn't let go. I hope you enjoy the coda tomorrow....

Thank you so much honey!! *hugs you and gives you kleenex*

[kalikahuntress.livejournal.com]

Aww man, I can't wait to re-read this over and over again. I want an ending like this for the show so bad, something similar like this anyway. This is amazing, thanks for sharing this with us.:)

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

I know, I want it too. Thank you so much for reading it. So much love. :)

[candycanerica.livejournal.com]

So good. So, so, so good. Thank you.

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

No, thank you. I really appreciate your coming along on their journey with me. Huge hugs.

[etoile444.livejournal.com]

You made me cry! It was those tears of happy joy. What a beautiful ending! I'm so glad I took this journey with you. May I friend you so that if you write another story I will be alerted?

I think what I really loved in this chapter and in this story is the amount of love the characters feel for each other. And it is love that wins in the end. One of my fav books is a Wrinkle in Time, and it is that message that love saves the day that I have always held onto.

Thank you for that last line..."world without end." And John as the God vessel: YES, YES, YES! Please let that happen in the show! And please let the ending of S5 be similar to yours (I also am into Lucifer's redemption and return to heaven).

I love that "your" God is not homophobic! ;) Cas and Dean are just too sweet. Ahhh, I think I'd like to re-read this from the beginning now. :)

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Aww! *gives you kleenex* I can't believe that. Making someone cry is like... it's humbling. I'm so grateful that you chose to come along. You have no idea.

May I friend you so that if you write another story I will be alerted?
Of course! And might I point, gingerly and humbly, to the link at the top of my journal where you might find some of my other work? **is TOTALLY not humble at all**

It seems so obvious to me that if they have God it HAS to be John. Seriously.

And no slasher's god is homophobic, imho. :-)

There will be a small coda posted tomorrow for those of us who have trouble letting pre-slash stay pre- :D :D

Thank you, thank you thank you so much. I'm honored and grateful. :)

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

Ah! That was so sweet! And everyone reactions felt perfect. I can't wait for the epilogue.

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It's been wonderful having you there as the story unfolded. I'm very grateful :) Glad you enjoyed.

[half-vulcan.livejournal.com]

This has been a great story the end had me in tears. Let me tell you....that is hard to do. I am so glad Dean and Cas and Sam got their happy ever after and having John be God well, that was just perfect. Awesome work!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Awww! *gives you kleenex* Thank you so, so, so much. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it :)

[rockstarpeach.livejournal.com]

Yay!!! Just... Yay!!!

This fic was just great, from start to finish. I'm not a huge fan of human!Cas, but this was just so sweet, I want to hug it, and tuck it in, and give it hot chocolate to drink!

I love how you ended this. It was perfect, really.

I was almost crying for a minute there, when Cas was saying goodbye...

Thanks so much for sharing this lovely story with us!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D :D

Thank you so much for your encouraging comments and for just being there as well as for inspiring me with your wonderful writing! I really feel like you helped me get to the end of this thing. :} I'm much obliged for everything. :)

[unholygrace.livejournal.com]

I am an incoherent pile of goo. GUH. ♥ Thank you for writing this lovely work.

Hearts for you and this fic! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Hearts back at you!!!! Thank you so much for reading and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :D

[laurapetri.livejournal.com]

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

That's a whole lotta colored hearts. I think I will make a necklace out of em. :D :D :D

Thank you sooooo much for reading, sweetie! It's been wonderful to have you along for the ride :)

[latvela.livejournal.com]

"Miss me, Huggy Bear?" Dean said.
Awww! ♥ I loved this from beginning to end, but you knew that! This was a wonderful ending, though I think Luci kind of got off easy! Tell me that he's at least on dishwashing duty in Heaven for a couple of millennia XD Looking forward to that coda, because Cas and Dean are just too adorable!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

OK, I admit that particular line/image had me squeeing like crazy when it entered my head so i'm glad it gave you an awww!!

Thank you so much for coming along for the ride! Your comments have put a smile on my face. I'm just so glad you enjoyed it.

And don't forget Luci's been locked up in hell for millennia. That's a hell of a punishment, you know! (hardy har har)

Coda coming up closing-time today. Next on my list is drabble-dumping all the comment fic I've written this month... :-)

[meanheans]

You ended it SO WELL!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

Hee! Glad you liked! In truth I came up with the ending first so I was waiting a long time to get to this stuff. I'm glad it appealed to you, cause I couldn't get it out of my head :-)

Thanks so much for reading!

[meanheans]

I actually said a whole lot more and apparently LJ ate it. Yes, the ending was so incredibly good, but really, the entire thing was tremendous! I loved Dean having a bit of satisfaction at getting one up on Sam, learning the angel stuff from Cas (and keeping it a secret) and how as confident as that made him, it really tested his ability to believe and trust in faith. Faith not only in himself (which is sorely lacking and shows) but faith in those outside himself to trust and believe in him. This was a wonderful journey for Dean and had a heck of an ending. John! John as God! Castiel chosing to stay and doing it right then and their with Dad watching!

Really, the ending was so well done, but when you look at the piece as a whole, it was all quite impressive. Thanks so much for sharing!

[tiptoe39.livejournal.com]

oh, wow, thank you so much!!! I'm really touched that you took the time to retype it. Isn't LJ awful about eating comments? *bites it*

I'm just so glad you enjoyed. It's nice to know that the messages and themes that I wanted to portray actually made it out there into the finished work. I'm so, so grateful.

Thank you again!!