tiptoe39

He didn't even remember how he could have ended there, standing alone in the rain on the edge of a road. The sound of drops water slid on the leaves was deafening, and Castiel had drunk too much, perhaps every sound was amplified because of this. He had left Bobby's house because he couldn't sleep, one of the many human things he should have to learn eventually, but the apocalypse was near, and he was useless. Dean was always in silence, ignoring him, and now more than ever, Castiel was lonely and desperate. All the sacrifices for nothing, all ending with a empty bottle in his hand, soaked to the bone, in a way through trees. He could almost feel the tears coming up his eyes, another human thing he had to learn to hold back, but that did not have the time to learn.
A white light forced him to close his eyes, but then he opened them, thinking that, maybe, one of his brothers had come to pick him up, to help him, bring him back. But Dean get out of that light, misty lighthouse of the Impala behind him.
"What the hell Cas, I searched for hours!"
Castiel did not answer, he was about to faint from the cold. And he did not understand why, but just the idea of Dean searching for him and his chest was filled with warmth. Not even alcohol could make him feel like that.
"Dean ..?"
"No, Mother Teresa! Who can looking for you, huh?"
Dean grabbed Cas by one arm and pushed him toward the car.
"I don't know...my father, maybe"
"your-" Dean stopped. "you are still waiting .." Dean did not seem to find the breath to finish the sentence.
"of course."
Dean smiled and shook his head.
"Cas you ...."
"you're going to tell me to stop waiting for him .."
"No, I did not want to say that .."
"then what?"
"You can't..." Dean licked his wet lips and ran a hand through his hair. "You can't disappear on me, okay? not now. "
".. i am not an angel anymore, I can't help you, I-"
"I don't need you for your powers, Cas .."
"then for what? why you can just leave me here.. .. I-"
His mouth was closed by Dean one a moment later. And suddenly Cas did not remember what was going to say. Dean's skin was wet from the rain, but his lips were warm and his hands covering his cheeks were firm and safe. In that kiss there were all those words that Dean would never have said to him: "because I need you. because you give me a meaning. Because I no longer know how to live without you." and every touch of his lips seemed to say something more. Castiel closed his eyes, feeling the rain on his tongue when he opened his mouth to feel Dean taste. He grabbed Dean jacket at the waist, until his hands closed over his back. And everything was impossibly warm, even in the middle of the storm. Maybe both would die in one of the following days, maybe the storm would have killed them that night, but nothing and no one would separate them anyway.