Post-Episode crying, I mean thoughts (y hai thar heroes_meta)

[tiptoe39]

1) Who's the person talking plz? And excuse me, WE know HRG's name, why don't YOU?

2) Nathan Narration will become the new Mohinder Narration? I can live with that. Besides, I don't think Mohinder will be able to say much more than BZZZZZ and HELLLLP MEEEEE after a while.

3) Moses had a burning bush, Mary had angels, and Nathan has Papa Smurf. Fitting.

4) Mohinder REALLY IS Ted Haggard. He's going to fuck his drug dealer.

5) Peter snaps Sylar's neck? I yawn. Peter spits in Angela's face? I fear for the sanity of the world.

6) Oh what is up with Sylar being a momma's boy and then acting all pleased when Noah gestures to him? Since when does he need validation like he's a freaking parking sticker? You know what I think? I think there was a Mr. Muggles bodyswap scene that got left on the cutting room floor.

7) Um, Meredith? Don't touch the Sandra. You'll be generating cold ashes for a week.

8) Meredith: "Can you do this?"
Sandra: "No, but I can train dogs to bite you in your sleep, biyotch."

9) Adam wakes up and immediately makes more sense than anybody else. Although I really think he's channeling Westley. "Wait! I have a plan!!" I do hope he gets Linderman in his sights and starts talking about "to the pain." bwahaha.

10) Why is Mohinder's picture in the Pinehearst files? Someone there knows that he's playing Russian roulette with his DNA? How do they know that?

11) OMG I WANT TO BE SYLAR'S APPLE PLZ. ZQ you so sexy.

12) Yup, he's Ted Haggard. Got the stoned dudes in my romper room, now it's time to take off my shirt.

13) "You didn't come home last night?" HOME!??? BITCH, THAT'S MATT'S PLACE! YOU ARE SLEEPING ON HIS SIDE OF THE BED!

14) Too close to Mohinderlips on Mayaneck. I may spew. The only chemistry in that room is the Junior Mad Scientist set that Momo's been playing with ever since his boyfriends left him.

15) MAYA. YOUR BROTHER'S BODY ISN'T COLD YET. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.

16) No matt = unhappy tippy.

17) All right, time to lay the smackdown on Claire.
Claire: "I'm badass enough to taser you."
Vortex Dude: "But wait, I have a wife and family."
Claire: "Aww, I'm moved. Why don't I sit down IN YOUR HOUSE which has no furniture and listen to your story."
Vortex Dude: "That's the story. I have a wife and family."
Claire: "Changed my mind. You're a monster."
Vortex Dude: "So what are you going to do with me?"
Claire: "...Changed my mind again. Not only will I be moved by your story which might very well be a lie, but I will actually help you contact your family. After all, if the Company was stupid enough to lock you in Level 5 for one accidental case of manslaughter, there's no way they've contacted your family and asked them to keep a watch out for you."
Noah: "Freeze, scum!"
Claire: "Wait, Dad! In five minutes of conversation I've learned his true character better than you in all your years of experience ever could!"
Vortex Dude: "Oh shit, there's a fully dressed kitchen table in here that I completely forgot to vortex away! I'll never sell the house as unfurnished unless I get rid of it!"
Claire: "Why is Sylar here? Dad, I hate you! Eeek! I'm being sucked in!"
Sylar: "Take my hand!"
Claire: "I still hate you but I am grateful, and somewhat aroused, because I always get turned on by uncles that I don't know yet are my uncles!"

18) Adam continues to be cooler than the whole rest of the show put together. And the cantina line was a nice thought. But something I can't put my finger on makes me unhappy at the thought of a "specials for hire" bar.

19) MAYA WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID. Seriously, woman, you are one bared midriff away from being The Teenager In The Horror Flick. Oh, well, at least Mohinder has the good sense to make you into a pinup girl. Literally.

20) In the chaos, Adam, being the smartest guy in the room by far, flees the sinking show, I mean ship.

21) IF HIRO ACTUALLY STABBED ANDO, I AM NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW ANYMORE. WTF WAS WITH THAT SHIT.

After that I didn't care to even write anymore. I am crushed like a shredded wheat on the kitchen floor. I need a HUG.