ext_41090 ([identity profile] tiptoe39.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] tiptoe39 2008-03-16 08:00 pm (UTC)

This happens when Matt's in L.A., shortly before his marriage to Janice. He's had a bad night and he's in a bar getting plastered when an older guy comes round and starts hitting on him. Tell him he's a well-known actor in the biz and Matt's got a face for show biz, won't he come home with him and maybe he'll hook him up with a job after he hooks up with him, so to speak.

Well, Matt's drunk and intrigued and lets the guy take him home. They're making out in the hallway of the guy's apartment when Matt feels his back crash against something round and plastic. He looks back and it's a stormtrooper helmet. Well, that's about the coolest thing Matt's ever seen. "You were in Star Wars?" he says in awe.

"Yup. Didn't you recognize me? I told you I was connected." The guy's got blue eyes that twinkle at this.

Matt laughs and picks up the helmet. "Put it on."

"Nah. It's a collector's item."

"Put it on!" Matt insists, and the guy rolls the irresistible blue eyes and complies. Matt guffaws and like a true drunken bastard he leans forward and affixes his lips to the plastic helmet.

"Oh, Random Stormtrooper Number 57, how do I love thee?" he slurs.

Then he sees the price tag still affixed to the damned helmet. $15.95. Made in Taiwan, no less.

It's too bad, because if the guy had just said he wanted some nookie Matt might have been OK with it. But lies turn him off. So it ends with a stormtrooper kiss, and Matt goes on to bigger and better things. Well, kind of. But at least he can say he's kissed a Star Wars stormtrooper, right?

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